A First Class Pig

October 31, 2000

Pick up the newspaper and sometimes a story will jump out at you that you can hardly believe. Just this week the Washington Post reports that a 300 pound pig flew first class from Philadelphia to Seattle. Yes, it's true! Two women signed up to transport the animal. It seems they needed help to get him aboard. A 300 pound pig is a big porker. If he didn't want to fly to Seattle, I think it would be hard to hog tie the belligerent flyer. ~

But fortunately, according to the story, he was sleeping in the isle -- the airline attendants stepping over him, trying not to spill coffee on him. I wonder if they fed him a First Class meal like eggs and bacon? That would be insulting to serve bacon to a pig! Probably a better dish would be cornbread. Porkie would be happy with that.

It is a rule that all passengers must be strapped in their seat during take-off and landing. I can just see Porkie all strapped in his seat beside me. The whole flight might not have even made the paper if Porkie had not had a seizure of air rage and charged the cockpit door, ran down the isle between the seats and squealed in fear.

You know, I like pigs. Cats look down on you. Dogs look up to you. But pigs treat you like an equal. I just never know how equal pigs are. There we have Porkie flying in First Class. I don't get to fly First Class very often. I wonder how many frequent flyer miles he has.

Until next week, I am John Block -- reporting from Washington.